Relationships
April 3, 2010
Today I had a conversation with some co-workers of mine. A conversation that had taken place on previous occassions about marriage and how today’s society holds no respect or value to its former sanctity. While I could go on and on about this subject as a whole I’d like to focus on one of the common reasons people split up. Disagreements, Misunderstanding, and Apathy. I wouldn’t say these are the only reasons but I think these three things can oftentimes be said to not only be the cause of marriage relationships dying today, but also the disintigration of just day to day relationships with people. How is it that people we hold closest and dearest become just a memory, a photograph, a name.
Over the course of the last 3 years (since college) I’d like to think I’ve learned a lot. I’ve found that a large part of my life I lived based on the expectations of others or what I thought their expectations were for me. Only to find, years later of course that on occassion there were expectations coming from others but more often than not the expectations were coming from me. Having recognized that a few years back I felt such a freedom to do and say and be who I was and what I thought. And not only that but to walk in such a way that I didn’t place expectations on others. Which I still look out for to this day. However, this method is something that is not always common and thus difficult to be comprehended.
All this to say, how many misunderstandings and disagreements are based on expectations? Expectations of dreams hoped for never attained, expectations of the right way someone should respond, expectations of who a person should be …
Finally people just give up. They get tired and apathetic. Tired of fighting for something they believed in so deeply and tired of trying to make themselves understood. Where is the fight? The fight to know that what was once treasured so deeply is worth the effort of pressing through a barrier of misunderstandings, disagreements and apathy? Quite honestly there are 2 paths to take. Press through or move on.
In marriages I hold fast to believing that, excluding situations of abuse or perhaps infedelity, most people just need to press through. In day to day relationships you are blessed with friends for lifetimes (which is a very rare thing) and you are blessed with friendships that push you harder and further than you thought you could go. But sometimes no matter how much you want the relationship to be active it’s just best to let go and move on.
It’s difficult for me to reconcile those last few sentences. Especially because it seems like such a double standard to me. You should fight right?
Ultimately, I think it’s a case by case basis and how’s and why’s cannot always be determined or answered. Although it’s always nice when they are 
But at the end of the day, the only person we can be responsible for is ourselves. To take a moment and see where our responsibility lies, try and fix it, grow and move forward.
