Over the course of the last 3 years (since college) I’d like to think I’ve learned a lot. I’ve found that a large part of my life I lived based on the expectations of others or what I thought their expectations were for me. Only to find, years later of course that on occassion there were expectations coming from others but more often than not the expectations were coming from me. Having recognized that a few years back I felt such a freedom to do and say and be who I was and what I thought. And not only that but to walk in such a way that I didn’t place expectations on others. Which I still look out for to this day.  However, this method is something that is not always common and thus difficult to be comprehended.  

All this to say, how many misunderstandings and disagreements are based on expectations? Expectations of dreams hoped for never attained, expectations of the right way someone should respond, expectations of who a person should be …

Finally people just give up. They get tired and apathetic. Tired of fighting for something they believed in so deeply and tired of trying to make themselves understood. Where is the fight? The fight to know that what was once treasured so deeply is worth the effort of pressing through a barrier of misunderstandings, disagreements and apathy? Quite honestly there are 2 paths to take. Press through or move on.

In marriages I hold fast to believing that, excluding situations of abuse or perhaps infedelity, most people just need to press through. In day to day relationships you are blessed with friends for lifetimes (which is a very rare thing) and you are blessed with friendships that push you harder and further than you thought you could go. But sometimes no matter how much you want the relationship to be active it’s just best to let go and move on.

It’s difficult for me to reconcile those last few sentences. Especially because it seems like such a double standard to me. You should fight right?

Ultimately, I think it’s a case by case basis and how’s and why’s cannot always be determined or answered. Although it’s always nice when they are  But at the end of the day, the only person we can be responsible for is ourselves. To take a moment and see where our responsibility lies, try and fix it, grow and move forward.

So after that brief introduction, the “A” word is “Abortion”. I must tell you that everything I’m about to say I can only claim as my own opinion. So please read at your own risk!

Recently a church I know of has been protesting in front of a local abortion clinic I pass by regularly. I have a really hard time with this. Everything within me burns with frustration! Maybe not for the same reasons though that some might think. I personally do not believe that Abortion is right. I would never make that choice myself. However, our lives are full of choices. We have the ability to drink, smoke, sleep around, do drugs (even though it’s illegal). Choices that we ultimately are only answerable to God for, the ultimate judge. However, whenever I see Christians standing in front of an abortion clinic with protest signs on an incredibly busy road my heart breaks for the impression people get. Not only the people just driving by, but the women that making this life-altering choice. The Christian church already has a reputation for hate and judgement. What are those signs preaching? More hate, and more judgement. I don’t worry about the church’s image though. I worry about people thinking that the body of Christ consists of judgmental people. Which defeats the purpose of the church being a community of people who will share the love of God that Christ spent his ministry on earth and died to show. Instead it just pushes people away and creates more hostility and anger.

I know a lot of those people standing out there may have the best of intentions. To maybe convince those women to change their minds. To make a different choice. To stand up for what they think is right. But it’s not their choice. Legally, these women can make this decision on their own. Just like they have the right to decide NOT to go to church because of the people standing outside the abortion clinic.

Too many people are impacted by this and it’s not positive. It’s a negative. A negative impact on the women going in and out, the doctors and nurses in the clinic and all the people who happen to drive by while the protest goes on. Think of it. If you just think about the people that drive by … If 100 cars (with just one passenger) pass by that clinic every 15 minutes and 50% (which the percentage might be higher) are not Christians, that means??? I like math so I’ll answer … That means 200 people may never step foot into a church because of a sign. That’s 1600 people in 8 hours. Multiply that by 5 days a week, you’re up to 8,000. I like math, but I don’t like those numbers. There are better ways to reach these women. Set up support groups or consultation groups for women that have undergone an abortion or are considering abortion. Become a  licensed counselor and go to work in the clinic.  I don’t know, I just think there are SO many different ways to handle this.

All I can say is, I apologize for the judgement that has been communicated. And I urge people to know that not all Christians believe that this is the appropriate response. Lives are fragile. People are fragile. And we have a caring God that can put the pieces back together should we find ourselves broken.

“Why are there so many things I want to do???  Sometimes I wonder why I’m such a big dreamer.  I talk about them alot, and yet alot of the time, they don’t happen…They’re crazy and out there, and sometimes weird, but they are my heart!!  It’s so easy to say “well …go do it!!  what are you waiting for?!?”  But what is it that keeps us from doing these things sometimes?  When should it end??  When is the line drawn for how far you can really go with your dreams?”

When I started to ponder this on my own I realized my serious response. My answer is there is never an end to our dreams, no matter how crazy or weird they might be! However, there are two types of dreams. The first type are just cool things to think about. The second are things that run deep within your veins. Things that you absolutely know you are destined for.  What stops us from achieving that second type of dream?  We do. A lot of times we are our biggest impediment. We don’t just step out and do it. I will say this though. I can’t say that in every situation it’s always us. Sometimes it can be timing and circumstances.  I just know that in my experience I have found that more often than not, it’s us. We’re holding us back.

Okay so now that I’m done justifying my bending to a social trend I begin my first blog. Wait … wasn’t that 157 words ago?

Anyway … the name of my blog. Saturday’s Not Long Enough. Aside from its very obvious and true meaning it holds deeper meaning to me. Two years and nine months ago I graduated from college. Shortly after graduating, the Lord opened the door for an amazing job that I’ve been blessed to have. However, working 40 hours a week and having a life outside of work leaves very little time for someone to just work on themselves. Saturday’s are those days for me. Days where there is no work element and all that remains is daily life. Time to to be who you’re supposed to be as a child of God. To grow. To be better.

I want to be better.

And this isn’t something new. For the past two years and nine months I have been growing to be a better person than I am. Some days I feel are more of an accomplishment than others. I’ve been trying to learn from every experience and to grow from it. To be a totally kingdom minded person. I guess what triggered this thought is something I was reading in scripture the other night. I was reading about John the Baptist. John 3:22-36 In this passage one of John’s followers comes up to him and basically says “John, everyone is following Jesus, they like him better now.” but John doesn’t mind. Not one bit. His response is something along the lines of “Good! I’m glad! I don’t need people following me, when the real deal is here. He’s here and I am glad that many are following him. I become less so that he is increased” Man! I want to be like John. His perspective from the very beginning is the cause of the kingdom and not himself. As though it’s his first nature to know that we should come second! It was a pleasant reminder of how my mind and spirit should function.

So I don’t want to waste my Saturdays. They’re just not long enough in real life. But maybe I can suspend them through this blog.

Thanks for reading!